The Relaxed Writer

Lance Armstrong on Rejection

"A boo is a lot louder than a cheer. If you have 10 people cheering and one person booing, all you hear is the booing."  - Lance Armstrong

Like cyclists, writers log long, solitary hours practicing and improving their craft.  When we do connect with the outside world--be it through editors we query, publications we submit to, or readers we choose to share our work with--we open ourselves up to the possibility of rejection.

Here's how to protect your belief in yourself and your writing when you encounter criticism:

1.  Put it into context.  Remember Armstrong's insight:  a boo stands out, especially when you're feeling twinges of self-doubt. 

2.  Build a belief file.   It's important to record your wins.  If you aren't doing so already, create a "Belief Binder." Include items that reinforce your belief in yourself and your work, such as:

• a list of career milestones (awards, publications, reviews)
  
• a record of your writing income
• copies of acceptance letters
  
• copies of clips
• positive comments from reviewers, readers, editors and any others who value your writing 
  

I also recommend that you sit down and write yourself a list of "25 Reasons I Believe In What I Do," and include it in your binder.  Have fun with your list, and add to it and review it often--especially when you find yourself beginning to believe in that single, shrill "boo" in the crowd.

3.  Join a coaching group for writers.  Accelerate your recovery when rejection hits by discussing your experiences in a life-coach-facilitated coaching group.  Besides helping you recover faster, a coaching group for writers also helps you to:

• create deadlines for yourself
• learn tools and strategies to deal with obstacles and setbacks
  
• network with writers across the country
• support your peers' wins and progress
  
• access the collective wisdom and experience of the group
  

4.  Remember that setbacks happen.  Lance Armstrong came in 12th in the 1996 Olympic Games.  President Obama lost his 2000 bid for a seat in the U.S. House of Representatives.  Jack Kerouac, Sylvia Plath and George Orwell each wrote books that were subsequently rejected by Knopf.

You didn't experience rejection because you "failed."  You experienced rejection because you tried, and isn't trying itself a kind of "win"?  Think of the many, many people out there who don't take chances, and who never open themselves up to criticism or (gasp!) outright failure.

If you follow the steps I've outlined above, you can minimize the impact of criticism or rejection when it comes.  Don't forget to draw on your support network.  And whatever you do, don't stop writing. 

Relaxation 101: Work from the Ground Up

Welcome to the first in a series of posts highlighting useful principles from David Allen's sparkling and wise workflow management system, Getting Things Done: The Art of Stress-Free Productivity.  Today's topic?  Basic relaxation.

Let's get started!

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RELAXATION 101:  Work from the Ground Up

Introduction

Vision statements and other long-term planning tools are powerful, but they're more effective once your day-to-day experience is characterized by a general sense of control, comfort and relaxation.  If you're feeling overwhelmed or stressed out, it really is possible to relax more.  To begin, work from the ground up.

Case Study

At the beginning of each new coaching partnership, my clients prepare responses to a series of "big picture questions" for our first meeting as coach and client.  Among other things, during this initial intake session we discuss a client's:

    * writing and lifestyle goals
    * past successes and challenges
    * visions and intentions for the future

It's fun work, getting to know someone in this way.  And most everyone I've met finds great benefit in taking time to reflect, review and imagine a meaningful context for their life.

In subsequent coaching sessions, however, we often shift our focus from this "big picture" view down to the level of the client's daily experience.  David Allen, author of Getting Things Done:  The Art of Stress-Free Productivity, uses an altitude metaphor: he'd say that we shift our focus down from the "50,000+ feet perspective" to the "10,000 feet" (and "Runway") levels.  A client who is off-track and experience obstacles (such as a lack of time, focus or creativity) need a foundation for relaxation.  We begin  by inventorying, managing and fine-tuning his or her current projects, commitments and action steps. 

Incremental changes accumulate over time. Relaxed and confident that daily details aren't being missed, the client can then employ "bigger picture" coaching tools such as vision statements, dream maps and long-term goals.  Working from the ground up empowers him or her to refine, redirect or  redefine the trajectory of their writing or their life. 

"[A bottom-up approach is] a critical factor in achieving a balanced, productive, and comfortable life," says Allen.  Beginning at the bottom is not always intuitive.  What about the bigger picture?  Allen says this:  in order to gain a sense of relaxation and control, we need to feel that our projects and any fact, obligation, commitment or "to do" that's taking up space in our head is out of our head and captured in a system where it's both seen and managed.  This frees us up to be more fully present and responsive.

Working from the ground up creates lasting change, says Allen.  My coaching experience confirms this.  To relax, begin with the basic elements of your daily life.  What follows are some ideas to help get you started.

Get Started:  Questions for Reflection

• What small daily action can you take to nurture, center and ground yourself?

 I can't recommend meditation (in whatever form you find it) highly enough.  Discover a method or activity that works for you.  Do it daily. 

• Is your project management system capturing every last detail, so you don't have to monitor, track or try to remember them in your head?

 If not, consider instituting a system like the one outlined in Getting Things Done.  Try this on your own, with a peer group, or with a coach.

• Are you feeling overcommitted?  Overwhelmed or resentful at obligations? 

If so, it's time to boost your sense of personal agency by releasing what no longer working for you.  A coach can be an invaluable partner in this process.  Make a few brave changes and marvel at the creative energy you free up in doing so.

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I hope you found something interesting or useful in today's post.  If so, I'd love for you to post your comments.  Thanks for reading, and I hope you'll check back soon for another Getting Things Done tip.