The Relaxed Writer

Anne Frank on Gratitude, Abundance

Anne Frank, on gratitude and abundance:

I do not think of all the misery, but of the glory that remains. Go outside into the fields, nature and the sun, go out and seek happiness in yourself and in God. Think of the beauty that again and again discharges itself within and without you and be happy.  --Anne Frank

I hope you'll take a moment to yourself in the next few days to reconnect to Beauty, in whatever form you find it.

Happy Thanksgiving.

Spike Lee on Early Rising

Anyone else read Spike Lee on early rising?   

From the recent New Yorker Spike Lee profile:

Releasing movies at an average of nearly one a year, Lee has maintained a pace matched, in this country, only by Woody Allen...He is able to accomplish so much in part because he often rises at 5 A.M. “You want to get a lot done, you gotta get up in the morning,” he told me. The rest, he says, is “time management.”     

What strategies do you use to get the most out of your day?

Drop the label. Rewrite the message!

If you've been actively working towards a goal but not getting the results you want, you may want to take a moment to notice what messages you tell yourself.  Our self-talk can have a powerful effect on our successes in the world, and you may be capping your efforts to change and grow by labeling yourself with negative or limiting thoughts.

My daughter's an active toddler, and one of my goals right now is to create a more organized household.  I've been taking some action steps and am seeing some progress.  However, late last week I noticed that I was continually saying to myself, "I'm certainly no domestic goddess."

Wait a minute.  On the outside, I'd been taking small, consistent steps to become a bit more domestic-goddess-like. <grin>  But on the inside, I'd been sabotaging my efforts profoundly!

After I recognized my negative self-talk, I shifted my message from "I'm no domestic goddess" to "I am creating an organized, cozy home."   

The sense of possibility I've experienced as a result of this small shift in my thinking has been significant.  This week, my husband and I sat down to a candle-lit meal together, on a cleaned-off kitchen table set with cloth napkins....not one, but two nights in a row.  I'm sure I couldn't have pulled that off if I was still thinking of myself as "no domestic goddess." 

One of the reasons people hire a life coach is to get help with noticing and changing patterns that keep them from living the life they want.

This is a sampling of the self-limiting messages I've heard from clients in the past few weeks:

• I'm really not a fiction writer...
• I'm not the 'planning type.'
• I don't take good care of my own needs.
• I'm not good at taking time to write.

Recognize yourself in any of these?   

Take Action

Today, I invite you to tune into your self-talk with the specific goal of noticing what messages you're telling yourself.  When you detect a self-limiting thought, don't judge.  Simply drop the label and rewrite the message.

I'll be interested in hearing about your experiences with this simple, powerful exercise.  Come back and post a comment, or feel free to drop me a note via email.

Accepting What Is

I really didn't want to dress up my 18-month-old daughter, Annabelle, as a cow for Halloween.  I had other, cuddlier/more photogenic animals in mind for her second Halloween:  a dainty ladybug; perhaps a fluffy lamb.  

The moment Annabelle saw the costume, though, she puckered up her lips and started to moo. 

"You like this one," I said. 

"Moooooooo!" she replied, with a discernible twinkle in her eye.

In costume, Annabelle stared at her reflection in the mirror as we got ready for her playgroup party, and she mooed loudly.  At the party, she found a mirror under a table and returned to it again and again to admire herself (and to moo).  She wore her costume headpiece throughout the entire party.  When my friends said hello and greeted her with "You're a cow!" Annabelle happily mooed back at them. 

So it was.  Annabelle was a cow for Halloween.

It isn't always easy to let go of our preconceived notions of how our projects should turn out, but there is often real wisdom in letting our plans evolve simply into the way they need to be.

This simple principle has abundant applications in life and in writing.  The next time you investigate a big decision, try focusing first only on learning all you can about the various options available to you. Then, when decision-making time comes, relax your mind and use your intuition to connect you with "what the situation wants to be."  By shifting your focus from the outcome to the decision-making process itself, you allow your intuitive wisdom more space to express itself.

If you find yourself stuck while writing a piece, try stepping back from the work for a day or two.  When you return, ask yourself honestly:  "Am I interfering with the progress of this character/plot/thesis?"  Or, "am I forcing this into something it's not?" 

It can seem risky to relax into a new possibility, but often the results are refreshingly on-target and authentic.