The Relaxed Writer

A Few Words About Ease and Grace

 
by Marla Beck, MFA, CTACC

Click here to watch video.

The other day a colleague shared with me a story.

She had a big project coming up.  And although she was nervous, she decided that everything would unfold with ease and grace…and it did.  She got the results she wanted and had worked for, all because she took a moment to decide what she wanted.

I know this may sound quite simple, but it works.

A simple case study.

A few weeks ago, I coached a musician -- a guy who's quite accomplished in his business-world day job -- to create a new music school.  He came to me for help because he'd gotten overwhelmed with completing a grant application to fund his new venture.

We talked about his vision for the music school, and our conversation revealed his intentions for the project were two-fold:  to serve his community, and to shift his livelihood to the arts.  The grant seemed like a good idea because, well…it was there…

The thing is, my client jumped in to developing his project before he was crystal clear about his intention.  He'd always assumed that his music school needed to be non-profit, and when he saw the grant he thought he should apply.  But our coaching conversation revealed that a for-profit model -- one that would enable him to make a living and also serve the community with some pro-bono or sliding scale work -- was more closely aligned with his intentions.  It took a coaching conversation, a powerful kind of talk with an objective third party, for him to get clear.

The best part about this clarity?  No grant application needed.  And his overwhelm and resistance disappeared.  Instead, he was now free to get busy with the exciting (and yes, kinda' scary) work of choosing his services, committing to his project and starting to network and get the word out to prospective students.

My client moved out of overwhelm into a state of ease.  And grace.

Your goal is often closer than you think.

It's very easy to put roadblocks in our way when we're facing a scary part of our project. 

 - That's the reason so many solo business owners think they have to "get the website done" before they dare to tell anyone about their services. 

- That's the reason it's so damn tempting to over-research a topic or a chapter when you write.

We're kind of ingenious in a backwards kind of way.  Because if we're so busy dealing with the roadblocks, we don't have to take the scary steps we need to that will potentially expose us to rejection or disappointment. 

We can stay safely stuck.

Coaching Challenge

I'd like you to write the words, "ease" and "grace" down and post them in your workspace.

Then I want you to observe your writing mindset in the coming week.

(Take a look at your to-do list, too.)

Be alert for self-made obstacles, which often present themselves as big projects or tasks you're resisting.   Ask yourself, "Is this task truly necessary?  Could I move forward without it?"

Approach this exercise with a sense of humor and compassion for yourself.  (You may find, like me, that you are amazingly inventive at keeping yourself "busy.")

Practice this new habit regularly and you'll be one step closer to trading your "spin out" for clarity, ease and grace.

Your writing career will thank you.

Step Up Your Freelance Writing Career (free MP3! offer expires Saturday)

Yesterday I offered an inspiring, info-packed teleclass for freelance writers.  People are still writing in to tell me how much they appreciated the simple model and practical tips I shared:

Did you miss it?  There's still time to grab a free recording of the one-hour class, but you need to do it before Saturday night:

• http://www.coachmarla.com/teleclass.html

Enjoy! 

How to Get Your Freelance Writing "Mojo" Back

 Hey there, it's Coach Marla.  I've got a few quick questions for you, if you freelance:

• 

  Have you lost your love for writing?

• Are you tired of short-form writing assignments that drag you down?

• Ready to reclaim your motivation, personal power and creativity?

I’ve been coaching professional writers like you since 2006.   And if there’s one thing I hate to see, it’s a talented writer mired in malaise, discouragement or vague, unproductive striving.

You got into this field because you had talent, right?  And if you’ve made it to “mid-career” status, you’ve obviously been able to accomplish something decent in the marketplace.

But if you’ve been operating without a “success path” – a simple set of guiding principles and actions to move you towards the goals that matter most to you – you risk:

• Under-earning (or paying a steep, steep price for good and stable earnings)
• Feeling bad about yourself because you’re not disciplined or motivated to market yourself
• Knowing that every short-form assignment you turn in is a step further from realizing your writing potential
• Losing sight of the very real and meaningful writing goals you had when you got into the business to begin with

 If you can relate, help is here.

Join me for a free teleclass on Thursday, January 24 at 1pm Eastern.

In this info-rich call for established freelance writers, you’ll learn:

• A simple, 3-fold path to creating the writing income, assignments, challenge and variety you truly want
• The big mistake most writers make when they start mapping out a writing career re-design
• A powerful checklist to skyrocket the results you get from your LOI, cold-calling, networking or other marketing campaign
• Tips to help you enjoy your writing life and career again…beginning right away

Mid-Career Success Path: 
3 Simple Ways to Step Up
Your Passion, Your Earnings and Your Writing Career

This Thursday, January 24*

10am Pacific / 1pm Eastern 

*Can't join us live? Register anyways & I'll share the full class recording with you soon after the call.

Name Email

 Privacy note:  I guard your privacy as I do my own.  I will never share, sell or disclose your contact information with an outside party.  You've got my word.

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About Marla

Marla Beck helps writers and creative types to love their lives and pursue their careers with passion.  As a  songwriter, vocalist, MFA-educated writer and mother of a kindergartener, Marla is no stranger to the challenges and rewards of living a rich, balanced and on-track creative and professional life. 

In practice since 2006, Marla’s wise, holistic approach creates real and lasting change for her clients, who range from published authors and seasoned freelance journalists to literary-minded professionals and business owners in other fields.

Marla supports her coaching clients through all phases of projects – from exploring to planning to execution – with an appealing blend of analytical smarts, years of daily meditation practice and a heart that’s learned much from facing life-threatening illness at an early age.  Writers who coach with Marla finish their books, launch new income streams and discover brand-new passions and projects they can’t wait to pursue.

Think You're Too Lazy? 3 Reasons Why I Don't Buy It (Not One Bit.)

by Marla Beck, MFA, CTACC

Recently I coached several mom writers who decided that they were too lazy to achieve their writing goals.  When I heard their stories and harsh self-judgments, it really broke my heart.  I wasn't convinced they were "lazy" at all.  And I'm not convinced you are, either. 

If you're prone to feeling like a Lazy Writer, please read on.  Here are 3 practical tips to get you out of your rut and into action. 

1.  "I can't get up early to write." 

 Can someone please tell me who decided that the only best time to write is early in the morning?  

Don't get me wrong:  personally, I'm a chirpy morning person who loves to get up at 5am to meditate, stretch and "be" before the day begins.  (Of course, by 9pm I'm not much of a conversationalist, but that's another story.) 

We're not all made the same. And early risers don't get dibs on writerly productivity. 

I may sound flip here, but I do mean it sincerely.  If you aren't someone who gets up early to write, and you feel like the reason why is because you're "lazy," please S-T-O-P. 

Sounds like your body has a natural rhythm that differs from the go-go-go norms of our society.

And that's OK. 

What matters is that you release the need to be anything other than you are.  (That bears repeating:  Release the need to be anything other than you are.)

What matters is that you stop draining your energy with self-rebuke and start focusing instead on finding writing and productivity solutions that work for YOU.  

Remember those mom writers?  Once I helped them to reframe their dilemma ("I really want to write, but I'm not getting up early enough to do it") and let go of expecting themselves to be different…we were able to make real, tangible progress. Today, they're showing up regularly to work on book-length writing projects -- a far cry from where we began! 

If you think you can't be a writer because the early hours don't work for you, think again and follow these writers' leads.  By letting go of "lazy" and starting to accept themselves just as they are…

They freed up more energy to write, and they starting doing their work when it worked for them.

They tracked their progress and discovered their own best productivity practices.

They're writing their books.

You can just imagine how much happier they are.  All because they became willing to let go of "lazy."

2.  "I blew off the whole week."

 Let me tell you something: we often pressure ourselves to produce, produce, produce.  (I know I can fall into this quite easily. And when I do, it doesn't serve me well.)

When a client comes to our coaching call with the report that he blew off an entire week and spent it being "lazy," I hear that as an important signal.  (Not as a truth.)

Because here's the deal:

Sometimes we get out of our own way long enough to dig in and really attack our goals.  We work longer than we'd planned.  We add in extra writing sessions and start to burn ourselves out.

Then our Inner Rebel, that stabilizing force inside of us that wants to regulate our energy, does it's job and….well, it rebels.

So we space out online.

Get suddenly obsessed with media, trolling for back issues or episodes or new releases.

We may even blow off our exercise routines, household chores, etc.

If you think you're "too lazy" to pursue your writing goals because you had an off-week (or an off-month), I'm not buying it.

Get back in balance by acknowledging and honoring your need for rest and play.   Your "laziness" is just a signal to rebalance your energy and your life.

3.  "I'll never do it - I haven't so far…I'm just lazy."

 Well hello there, smokescreen.

 If you're novel's still not finished, your business isn't launched or your freelance career still isn't on track after years of yearning and wishing it were so…

Guess what?  I'm not buying it. That kind of reasoning is like saying to yourself, "I'll never lose the extra pounds because it hasn't happened yet."

(Huh?)

If you are willing to take action to achieve your personal, life and business goals, you're going to have to get a bit uncomfortable.

When you to take a new risk and dare to say YES! to your dreams, you may challenge your comfort zones when it comes to:

- cash (sometimes)
- self-confidence (often)
- saying "no" to other things
- standing up for what you believe in

(Personally, I think that when we're learning new things, getting more clear about our commitments to ourselves and others, and daring to stand up more for what we believe in, that's an easy & wonderful recipe for happiness.  But, I digress.)

Given the scary and unknown future, it's no wonder we often choose to stay comfortable by keeping things just the way they are.

If you choose to continue calling yourself lazy, you don't have to do anything but nurse the same old story, and let years go by without truly living your life or going for what matters most to you.

It's tough to remember sometimes, but we always have a choice. 

 What will you choose today?  To stay stuck by labeling yourself "lazy?"  Or to side-step your excuses by learning to address your "I'm lazy" habit head-on?

I'm rooting for you!

Dealing with Pushback When You Choose to Write

by Marla Beck, MFA, CTACC

Are you keeping yourself small to keep others comfortable?  It takes guts to write when you know it'll make people around you uncomfortable.  Click PLAY for practical tips and inspiration to help you deal with pushback from people you love.

 

Have you ever lost a few pounds or made another exciting life change, only to find that one of your friends simply can't deal with the New You? 

Perhaps she can't restrain herself from making underhanded comments or offering you dark-chocolate fudge -- even after you've clearly said "No thanks." 

Perhaps she gets so upset she can't talk to you any more. 

Sometimes we keep ourselves stuck because it makes others around us more comfortable.  It can be easier to carry a few pounds than to risk upsetting our friends or family.  It can be easier to bury our need to write under endless to-do lists and obligations than to take time from family to honor our talent and write. 

I get it. 

Recently I've come to terms with the fact that I've been holding myself back as a musician in order to not disturb my household.  My 5-year-old certainly doesn't like it when I divert my attention to the guitar (unless I'm playing exactly the song she wants to hear and sing along to)! 

And my wonderful husband -- who loves and supports me in so many ways, has often gotten uncomfortable when I've practiced music in the house.  It's hard for him not to clap and sing along when I practice.  And he wishes my technique were more flashy, my songs more rhythmic.  

Although he really wants me to flourish, when I practice in the house, my husband's forced to contend with his own feelings about wanting to learn an instrument and (so far) not logging in the time he needs to get better.  When I choose to make music in the house, he's forced to face his own desire to perform and the fact that (for right now) he's not choosing to move himself any closer to his goal. 

In response, I've been avoiding my music. I convinced myself that I was just postponing my art until the time was "right."  Which means that for the past 8 years, I've avoided being fully "me" in life:  deeply expressive. Musically sassy, sometimes.  And super happy!  

A few months ago, I decided to change the situation. 

I rented a beautiful new office near my house, and created a small, private studio space within for my keyboard, voice, flute and guitar.  

(Now whenever I show up to work, I also sing.) 

I took action and invested in my art.  Now I have the privacy I need to try out new musical ideas and to play as unrhythmically as I want.  :) 

And know what's happened as a result? 

My husband took me out for my 45th birthday recently.  At my request, we enjoyed a night of Indian food and jazz. 

And wouldn't you know that before the night was through, my lovely husband told one of the musicians about my interest in singing.  And before we left, I got his card so we could set up a time for vocal coaching. 

The moral of the story is this: 

If you're not free to write as you wish, the responsibility to change the situation is on you. 

Sometimes, like the friend who's envious of her newly-thin girlfriend, we may lose a friend. 

But more often than not, we can find a way to do our own creative work within the very life we have. 

    Perhaps you need to get to the library more often.

    Perhaps you need to set up a writing date with a friend.

    Perhaps you need to tolerate a few weeks of grumpy-partner syndrome as your spouse     gets used to your new writing hours. 

Whatever change you need to make, please follow my lead and dare to make it.

Because the people who love us are the ones who truly want to see us happy.  They may even feel inspired by your example, and more empowered to take action to pursue their own dreams. 

In fact, you should have seen the smile on my husband's face when he got back from comedy improv class the other night. He plans to go back again, and I can't wait to see him perform.