The Relaxed Writer

Write During the Holidays - Tip #2: Don't Consume...Create

This post is the second in a three-part series on how to stay on track with your writing during the holidays.  If you missed Write During the Holiday Tip #1 (Gift Yourself), you can find it here.

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Write During the Holidays Tip #2 - Don't Consume...Create

"Don't Consume....Create."

A rather radical proposition, I know. But this year I've come across a few families who are planning to "create, not consume."  They'll skip the malls altogether in favor of crafting and creating their own holiday gifts.

Their reasoning?  Saving money.  Spending "slow" time together.  Creating new holiday traditions and memories.

How could you apply "create, don't consume" to your writing life this holiday season?

Take the idea literally, and you might...

•  write a poem or heartfelt letter and gift it to a special friend or family member
•  write and produce a simple video script using your laptop or desktop computer

Read the concept as a metaphor, and you could...

•  put a time limit on your holiday shopping (both online and in the stores). Do this mindfully and I'd bet you could save yourself at least one weekend day.
•  invest the time you save back into your writing by devoting an afternoon or a day to sending out new queries, working on your fiction or working on your book proposal

Find ways to create a holiday experience that's meaningful to you. 

If a slower, more inward holiday experience appeals to you, see how you can slow things down for yourself and your family this holiday.  If you're someone who loves the holiday bustle, enjoy it all but deliberately counter-balance the energy you're spending "out there" with several deliberate writing sessions each week.

The real tip today is to be intentional.  Take a little time to consider which holiday commitments and activities support your goals and vision for your holiday.  Then invest your time and energy in having fun AND honoring your writing.

I'm here to support you.

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What do you think?  Leave your comments below.  And stay tuned for the 3rd and final "How to Write During the Holidays" tip - coming soon.

 

 

On Gratitude: A Simple Game and a Few Lovely Links for Writers

I'm usually a chirpy, early riser.  If I didn't share a cozy cabin-of-a-house with my husband, kid and cat, I'm quite certain I would wake up singing.  Literally.

But yesterday morning? 

No way.

I'd been up late the night before, working myself into wakefulness fretting about a few people I love, rewriting reality to suit me better (good luck with that one, right?), stressing out over my big to-do list and worrying over a big organizing project I'd been putting off. 

Then I turned my attention to my daughter's immediate and far-off future. I freaked out about it all--for no good reason at all. 

And when my alarm went off the next day, I was not chirpy.   Or "sing-y." 

I was grumpy.

And I really couldn't afford to be.  I had a sweet family to breakfast with and a full schedule of private clients to coach once I left the house. 

I needed to get out of the "stuck place" so I could move on with my day.

Playing "Ten Things"

Life and meditation and coaching have taught me to take perspective when I'm feeling hijacked by fear or anxiety.  Rather than buy into the negativity and let it immobilize me, most of the time I try to gently shift my thinking.

One of the simplest way I know is to play "Ten Things I'm Grateful For."

Sp yesterday I stayed in bed 5 extra minutes, doing my best to survey my life and all the great things in it. 

"One, I'm grateful for my healthy body…"

(Playing "10 Things" always feels a bit awkward at first.  Usually don't let myself quit until I get to ten.)

"Two, I'm grateful for my family…"

I don't know how this game works, but it does. 

By the time I got to Number 10, I didn't feel perfect.  But I felt a little suprised at all the good stuff. 

And I felt better!

…Good enough to greet my little daughter and sleepy husband with kindness.

…Good enough to coach my clients.

…Good enough to write a few short pieces that really needed to be written.

…Good enough to draft this post for you.

I'm not promising your obstacles will melt away magically.  But a heart filled with gratitude has a little more agility, a little more ability to move freely and respond to life in helpful ways. 

When you need to write but are feeling too antsy or afraid of the page, try practicing gratitude by playing "Ten Things."  Try it, too, when you're driving home from work or waiting in line at the grocery store.   Ask your lover or friend to play along with you.

You deserve a happy heart.
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Lovely Links for Writers

In the spirit of feeling great about your life and writing, I wanted to share a few links to help you reconnect to your writing happy place -- that wonderful space where gratitude and possibility meet...

Writing to Change the World -  Carolyn Rubenstein
http://www.abeautifulrippleeffect.com/2011/10/writing-to-change-the-world/

Become a Better Writer by Practicing Gratitude - Jeff Goins
http://writeitsideways.com/become-a-better-writer-by-practicing-gratitude/

3 Ways to Recharge Your Writing Dream - (mine)
http://marla.typepad.com/the_relaxed_writer/2010/08/writing-dream-recharge.html

Grateful?  Now, go do something. - Judy Stone-Goodman
http://www.thereflectivewriter.com/feeling-grateful-and-hungry-put-them-together-to-help-those-in-need/

Enjoy your day and thanks for reading.  Feel free to share your thoughts and comments below.

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Writing Retreat vs. Writing Intensive - Which Is Right for You?

Many of my private coaching clients are making plans to log in some extra writing hours before the holidays. Are you?  Here are some ideas to help you discern whether a writing retreat or writing intensive is the best option for you.

Janet's Writing Retreat

Janet packs her bags for a much-awaited weekend on the Northern California coast.  She's rented a condo on the ocean, and is looking forward to hearing the ocean waves, spending two days alone and savoring the opportunity to let her thoughts meander across the page like the morning fog.  Janet's goal is to rest her body, nurture her creativity and invite the Muse. 

During her retreat, she takes long walks, reads good literature and pampers herself guiltlessly.  As she drives herself home on Sunday night, Janet feels strong and centered.  She feels rested and creatively energized.  Best of all, her notebook and laptop brim with free-writes, poem starts and a few new ideas for her next short story and essay. 

She smiles as she turns into her driveway:  Janet's writing retreat was a success!

A successful writing retreat...

Supports open-ended creative exploration. 
A writing retreat is process-oriented.  No schedules, no productivity expectations offer flexibility to take creative risks, follow your whims and try new literary experiments.

Prioritizes mind/body R&R. 
Writing retreats help you court the Muse by helping you reconnect with your intuition, rest your body and nurture your senses and spirit.

Often supports creative inspiration with a gorgeous view, remote location or soulful landscape.
Environment matters!  Writers often retreat in beautiful natural settings to encourage a cross-pollination between environment and creativity.

Is inner-directed and (often) solitary.
Even in a group retreat, you have the opportunity to spend significant time alone and let your wishes, desires, intuition and curiosities be your creative guide.

A writing retreat is perfect for you if:

• you've just wrapped up a book or other big project and you want to cleanse or rejuvenate your creative palette before you take on a new project
• you need a rich cache of new creative material to mine and transform into literature throughout the next 6-12 months
• you need a break from your "real life" and need to get away
• you want to reconnect with your inner rhythm and creative pulse and energy

Lisa's Writing Intensive

Lisa can't wait to immerse herself in the novel, and she has plans to up her word count…significantly.  Lisa still plans to attend her son's ballgame on Sunday, but the family's agreed to "let mom write" for the weekend and everyone's planned accordingly. 

On Saturday morning, Lisa begins to write. Because she's mapped her work sessions out ahead of time, she knows when she'll write, how long she'll write and exactly what she wants to focus on during each work session.  She leaves a little room in her schedule for "moodling," but this weekend Lisa's aim isn't creative exploration--it's relaxed and focused productivity.  Lisa closes the door to her study and she writes and writes and writes.  Although she works hard, she takes regular breaks and she calls her accountability buddy for regular check-ins. 

On Sunday night, Lisa smiles as watches her printer churn out the last of her many newly drafted pages.  She calls her partner one last time, and together they celebrate: Lisa's writing intensive was a success!

A writing intensive…

Is pre-planned and structured. 
A writing intensive is productivity-oriented.  Time and goals are mapped out in advance, supporting you to simply show up, sit down and write. 

Balances modest periods of intense focus with guilt-free periods of rest and relaxation.
A successful writing intensive incorporates principles of relaxed productivity, and doesn't require you to overly tax your mind, body or spirit.

Elbows out time and space to write within the context of ordinary, everyday life.
Writing intensives help you significantly advance your writing project without leaving your family, packing your bags or linking your writing successes to outside circumstance.

Is goal-directed and often supported by an accountability group or partner.
An intensive is structured to keep you writing "on purpose," and provides you with encouraging support or community to help you stay on track.

A writing intensive is perfect for you if:

•  you're midway through a book proposal, novel or other big writing project and you just need a stretch of time to sit down, focus and write
•  you've been craving periods of uninterrupted writing time but you haven't been able to create it on your own
•  you want to focus on a specific career-building task like sending out queries or polishing and submitting your literary work and you haven't been able to find time to do so during the week
•  you write better when you are accountable to someone other than yourself

Which Option's Best for You?

So there you have it:  writing retreats vs. writing intensives.  As you can see, it's not that one option is inherently better than the other. Selecting your best writing structure just depends on your creative goals right now.

Are you considering a writing retreat or intensive before the new year?  Which option will you choose?  Leave your comments below.

3 Ways to Recharge Your Writing Dream

[If you're looking for "Never Shoot a Sunset," the third and final post in my Writing Lessons from Photographers series, you'll find it here early next week.  In the meantime, stick around and meet Annabelle - oh, and let me share with you some awesome ways to recharge your writing dream.]

In the past few months it seems I've become a personal lullaby jukebox.

Before snuggling down to sleep, my three-year-old daughter, Annabelle, asks me to sing two, three or five of her favorite songs, often specifying song order and volume.

Lately Annabelle has been keeping things simpler though. Her only request has been that I sing "Over the Rainbow" - again and again and again. She often murmurs lovely questions as she listens.

"Mommy?  Why can't I fly over the rainbow?"

"'What's 'whyohwhyohwhy'?"

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Yeah, I know. Rainbows.  Lullabies.  I realize I'm at risk of being schmaltzy here. 

But I do have a point, writers, and I think it's one worth making in all of the colors, as big as the sky.  

Who says you can't still go for a really big dream?  Figuratively speaking, why can't you fly over rainbows?

Because at some point in your writing life, you knew exactly what you wanted. 

• You got up early to write every day.
• You drafted your first chapters with optimism, hope and energy.
• You launched your freelance business intending to make damn good money, thank you very much. 

Now is the perfect time to discover if your writing dream is still colorful and vibrant or perhaps a bit faded at the edges. Read on for three ways to recharge your writing dream.

#1.  Step Back. 

The only way to see your dream all at once is to step back (waaaay back) from your daily work and writing.  To recapture the vividness and color of your writing vision, get out of your daily routine and take time to look at the bigger picture.  What does your writing goal really look like?

Clarifying your goals offers you two shifts in perspective.

• First you're able to make out the overall shape and contours of your dream.
• Then you're able to add color, texture and details.

If you have a chance,take an hour this weekend and freewrite at a local library or cafe.  Enjoy your mini-escape and do some daydreaming.  Then define your dream as vividly as you can: 

• what you want to achieve,
• why it matters to you, and
• what your writing life looks like on a daily basis.

#2.  Build Up Your Belief.

Do you believe it's really possible to write what matters most? 

To work productively and passionately, you've got to spark and nurture belief in your project.  Create time each day to build your belief that you really can do it. Read inspirational books, blogs and interviews.  But don't forget that the most inspiring, belief-building thing you can do is to sit down and actually get to work on your project.  Write.

#3.  Choose Your Best Supports.

Recharge your writing dream by seeking out people who actively value and support your ambitions. Proactively decide who will be the best supports for you.

• Will you hire a coach to keep you accountable, help you gain momentum and teach you to manage your work habits, projects or attitudes more efficiently?  (Clients who hire me often see major transformations in these areas in as little as two months). 
• Will you lock a trusted friend into bi-weekly writing dates (live or virtual), accountability check-ins or cheering sessions? 
• Will you push yourself to meet a writing contest deadline, no matter what?

The writing life can be solitary, but it need not be lonely.  Trust yourself to create the best community you can to support your work. 

And get busy recharging your precious writing dream!

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FREE Teleclass!

Overwhelmed freelancer?   If so, I've designed a free, one-hour teleclass just for you! 

Learn more and register the class here:  http://www.CoachMarla.com/teleclass.html

Why You Are Never Not Writing

Writing and "real life" are symbiotic.  Every action in our day-to-day lives--whether directly related to writing or not--has the potential to influence the way we think about and do our creative work. 

Think about this for a moment.  When we're not actually writing,

• what we read, listen to and see...
• where we go...
• who we talk to...
• what we do with our hands, our bodies, our brains...

...all these activities (and more!) have the potential to shape our thought and craft once we settle down to write again.

Your life away from the page matters.  And in a way, we are never not writing.

To write well, be mindful.  And as much as you can, be happy about your life and choices, too.

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Introducing:  3 Writing Lessons from Photographers

(photo credit:  Shermeee - flickr)

Speaking of extra-literary influence, this past weekend I got to thinking about the lessons I've learned while studying other disciplines. And I realized I've learned some really excellent creative lessons from  photography.

Starting next week I'll be sharing three of my favorites with you in a new blog series: "3 Writing Lessons from Photographers."  Stay tuned to learn three simple ways to get out of your own way and write.

On Writing Time and 'Real Life': 4 Steps for Smooth Transitions

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It's audio time!

On Writing Time and 'Real Life'

I just made this 4-minute MP3 recording of me reading this article while my daughter slept peacefully in the next room -- shhhhh. ;)

Look forward to hearing your feedback. If you like the MP3, please share it with your friends! 

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On Writing Time and 'Real Life':  4 Steps for Smooth Transitions
by Marla Beck

Engaging with the World

Yesterday I watched my little daughter harvest a small, blue egg from our neighbor's chicken coop. 

Feeling its just-hatched warmth, she rested the petite marvel in her right hand.  She stood completely still for a moment and lifted her arm carefully, clutching the egg with just the right amount of pressure.  She stared at its watercolor blueness intently, fully engaged with the experience.

Then, a dog came by.

Annabelle stepped purposefully towards the dog's wagging tail. She stooped down to look at a single, brown feather on the ground before announcing her discovery gleefully to the clouds and the sun. 

As we left the neighbor's yard and headed back home, my little one stretched as far as she could to try and reach the gate latch with her left hand -- the one that wasn't still clutching the little blue egg.

Focusing to Write

I don't have to tell you that we writers are curious folk.  Like three-year-olds, we easily engage with the world around us. In our creative work, this ability to get involved with life -- to pursue leads, to ask  questions, to try something new -- is an awesome asset!

But when we're actually writing, this tendency to get involved with our environment isn't always a good thing. Much too often (and often unnoticed by us), our attention spans get yoked by intriguing stimuli from our environment. 

We tend lose our place.  Without awareness, we forget to tend to the creative treasures in our care.

The Wide-Awake Transition:  Four Easy Steps

The secret to balancing "real life" with creative focus is the art making wide-awake transitions between these two ways of being.  Here's how.

Step #1.  Pause

Before you reach for the ringing phone, pursue an intriguing hyperlink, or give in to the temptation to click over to check your Facebook news feed just one more time (we've all been there!), pause for a moment. 

Ask yourself: 

• Am I really ready to put down the blue egg?  
• Or am I willing to persist with my writing for just ten more minutes?

Step #2.  Leave Tracks

If you do choose to stop writing right now, make the decision to do so with awareness.  Pause and leave a few creative tracks for yourself.  (Give yourself the very best chance of returning--productively--to your blue egg!)

Leave tracks for yourself by:

• Sketching out the inklings of the storyline you're working on.
• Making a list of what's left to do to wrap up that article.
• Noting exactly where you'd like to pick up again when you return to your writing desk.

Step #3.  Ground Yourself

If you can, after you leave tracks, sit still for a moment longer.  Notice how you've situated your back, your spine. Sense the feeling of your back against the chair. 

Ground your awareness in the present moment.

Step #4.  Plan Your Future, Enjoy the Present

Most importantly?  Decide exactly when you will return to your blue egg.  Then until you return, enjoy your time away from writing...guilt-free. 

You've put your treasure down gingerly. The blue egg is in good care.

c. 2010 Marla Beck.  photo credit:  WoodleyWonderWorks (Flickr)

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Want to use this article in your own blog or newsletter? 

Go for it -- as long as you include the article and following blurb in their entirety (with proper credit and all links intact):

Need more time to write? Sign up for my free e-course, "5 Keys to Making Time to Write," at http://www.CoachMarla.com/ecourse-mtw.html. For more great ideas for writers, visit my blog at http://www.TheRelaxedWriter.com.

Are You Writing What Matters Most?

We writers are lucky folk.

Isn't it cool that people are willing to pay us to:

• research and report news stories,
• market goods or services,
• explain or share technical knowledge or other kinds of know-how?

I'll bet you've also noticed how handy your writing talents are your civic and personal life, as you use your gifts to: 

• express gratitude or appreciation,
• publicize organizations or events you care about, or
• write letters on behalf of causes you believe in?

Alone at the writing desk, you may find your creative writing project especially fulfilling.  You may write because you:

• simply love the tools, the craft, the process,
  
• feel you have something you absolutely must say, or
• you're one of those blessed folks who simply cannot not write. 
  

Your expressive talents are marketable, adaptable and deeply needed by the world.  As a writer you have so many opportunities to use your gifts!

Amidst so many options, it takes real intention to show up for your own work, doesn't it?

Why Your Own Work Matters

If there's one thing I've learned from surviving cancer twice in my 20s, it's that life is short and the time to do what really matters isn't later.  It's now, now, now.

• Because your words have the potential to steal the hearts and days of an engaged reader.

• Because "everybody is talented, original and has something important to say," (Brenda Ueland, If You Want to Write, Greywolf Press, 1987).

• Because when you write what matters most, you're more patient at home, at the gym, on the road and in the grocery store.

• Because when you show up for your real writing work, you're happier and you model for your friends and kids what it's like to be a working artist (empowering them to do the same).

• Because when you make time to write what matters most to you, you spark that otherworldy light behind your eyes, that delicious glow you notice when you look in the mirror or see reflected back in the smile of someone who really knows and supports you, that joyful inner radiance that says, wordlessly: 
  

"I'm choosing to live in integrity today."

"I'm alive.  (Truly.)" 

"I use my life and talent to do what matters most."

Are you making time to express your gifts in ways that truly matter? 

Do you show up each week to write what matters MOST?

Try This: 

Let's call this little exercise "Drop and Give Me Ten." 

First:  Set a timer, fire up your word processor or get out a notebook and explore "writing that matters most" in a 10 minute (or more) freewriting session.

When you've finished, take a moment to share your insights & ideas with us by leaving a comment, below.  I can't wait to hear what matters most to you.

Image Credit:  gutter (flickr.com)

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Case Study: How to Get Lucky with Your Writing Goals

 

It happened twice in the same week.

After several weeks of coaching, two of my clients hammered out specific, clear, right-on-target short-term goals for their writing.

• "I'll finish and submit a personal essay in the next six weeks," Jeff declared.
• "I'll get out of the house and write my queries in a cafe this week," said Sharon.

Intentions clear, Jeff and Sharon set out to work on their projects.  While their goals were different, each achieved excellent results in similar ways.  They each got lucky, too!

Jeff worked diligently on the essay but along the way, something else emerged.  A clear angle for the book he'd been dreaming of.  Heck, not just a clear angle, but an entire structure for the manuscript.

"I'm being pulled to work on this book now," he reported in our next call.  "But if I choose to follow this new direction, am I abandoning my initial goal to publish the essay?" 

Together we found a way for Jeff to embrace this new development and pursue both projects.

Sharon's case was a bit different. 

This home-based freelancer intended to get out of the house to invigorate her motivation, get fresh ideas and generally feel a bit more connected to the world beyond her computer screen.

Instead, Sharon reported that after a good cafe work session, she took a break and went outside to sit on a bench in the town square.  As she sat, who should appear but a former colleague, someone who'd recently become an editor at one of the regional pubs she's been eyeing. 

After catching up, Sharon pitched a story idea on-the-spot.  The editor was receptive.  In fact, he liked it enough to arrange a follow-up call with her later in the week.

Jeff didn't set out to "discover his book." It just happened. 

Sharon set out to "get assignments," it's true, but she didn't expect to have a conversation with an assigning editor when she left her house for a query-writing session at the local cafe.

In their own ways, Jeff and Sharon each experienced the power of synchronicity: that happy, fruitful and unexpected "match" between intention and outcome.  They each "got lucky."   You can, too. 

Ready to get lucky with your writing goals?  Just follow these three, simple steps.

1. First, Jeff and Sharon set specific, manageable, meaningful goals.  They sat down to write with a crystal-clear understanding of what they wanted to do and why. 
2. Next, Jeff and Sharon showed up for their work focused and relaxed.  (This is key.)  They didn't waste energy on self-doubt.  They didn't get caught up in perfectionism, procrastination or any of the other myriad ways we writers tangle ourselves up before we even begin.  Using tools they learned from our coaching partnership, each "stayed out of their own way" as they worked.
3. Finally, when something a bit different from what they'd expected showed up (a book! an editor!), they were attuned enough to notice and respond to their good fortune--not turning opportunity down because it wasn't what they were expecting. 

image credit:  Caitlinator (Flickr)

What writing project would you like to "get lucky" with this month, and what are your plans to get you there?

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5 Simple Tips to Beautify Your Life

“The longer I live the more beautiful life becomes. If you foolishly ignore beauty, you will soon find yourself without it. Your life will be impoverished. But if you invest in beauty, it will remain with you all the days of your life.”      -Frank Lloyd Wright

I don't know about you but when someone speaks to me from the vantage point of a life mostly-lived, well...I tend to listen up.

To me, Wright's experience of an increasingly beautiful life is uncommon and inspiring.  He seems to be saying that "beauty" is available to us always, but it's up to us to wake to it, to cultivate it in our lives. 

photo credit: pablo.sanchez (Flickr)

Take a moment to think about your own life and habits.  Ask yourself:

• Have you been deliberately feeding your senses exquisite images and sounds, textures, colors and tastes? 
• Are you regularly decluttering your self-limiting attitudes and habits?  
• Do you give yourself regular time to reflect, process and savor your life's challenges and experiences?
• Do you experience your life a bit more richly, a bit lovelier than you did ten years, three years, thirty days ago? 

The late Thomas Leonard, pioneer of the coaching profession, believed that an optimized home and workspace enhance our ability to realize goals more than we might realize. 

To fine-tune your physical environment, this week I encourage you to consciously invest in beauty.  Take a few small steps to deliberately create a more elegant, inspiring or downright gorgeous place to live and work.

To get you started, here are 5 simple tips to beautify your life.

1. Grab some fresh flowers from the market, or tend and groom the houseplants you already have.
   
2. Cull the notes from your bulletin board, and use some of the newly freed-up space to post a quote, image or tchotchke that delights you. 
3. Reorganize your music collection, and create a playlist of newly rediscovered tunes or artists to play before or during your next writing session.
4. Warm up the lighting in your living or writing space.
5. Treat yourself to an elegant new writing tool.  Buy yourself a new pen or, if you prefer to write on-screen, experiment with a distraction-free writing environment to see how you like it.

You also may also experiment with making a daily "loved moments" list before bed.  To keep this exercise quick and simple, compress each impression into 1-3 sentences (or just an evocative phrase).  If you note even one loved moment a day, in a month you'll have a collection of notes to remind you of the beauty suffused in your everyday life. 

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I'll end today's post with a personal note--a postcard of sorts.

My two-year-old daughter, Annabelle, has always been a lark (like her mom).

Early in the mornings, my husband has been wrapping our little daughter up head-to-toe in a fluffy down comforter and picking her up to go outside. He opens the front door slowly, and as the damp autumn morning rushes at her face, Annabelle clasps his neck expectantly.  They settle on the topmost step just outside the door, Annabelle cuddled on her dad's lap.

Sometimes I hear Annabelle and her dad through the door as they sit in the starlight, talking about the neighborhood yet-to-wake, listening to the birds and chipmunks, looking at the sky.  Often when I hear the rhythms of their sleepy chatter I stand still.  Enchanted.

(A simple "loved moment" of mine.)  

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Care to share a recent "loved moment" of your own? 

What will you do to beautify your inner or outer environment this week?

Life Coaching Tip for Writers: Do Your Thing

Today I want to introduce you to three folks I've come across lately who seem to be living bravely, from the inside-out.  They're taking risks, owning what they love and "doing their 'thing.'"

Ready to meet a genre-crossing freelancer, a cross-dressing cyclist and a food blogger who's making a meal of misfortune? 

To help you do more of your own 'thing,' I've included a few coaching questions after each mini-profile.  Have fun with this.

Meet "The Productive Muse"

"You may write for a living, but are you really writing?" asks Jenny Cromie, an experienced freelancer, in a recent post on her blog, The Productive Muse.

In "Are You Really Writing Your Own Stories?", Jenny confesses that it has taken her six months to make time and space to get started writing what she really wants:  essays and a memoir.

"It's one thing to write an article about some business topic with quotes from other people," she says.  "But it's quite another to write a story or essay inspired by your own experiences--something that is completely original, and not reported. The kind of writing I'm talking about involves full disclosure, imagination, and an investment of time that may ultimately yield nothing and go nowhere.  There's fear attached to that."

I was inspired by Jenny's spark as she described her decision to finally try writing essays and memoir.

  "...[N]ow I'm writing my own story line," she says.  "Where it will go, I have no idea.  But hopefully, I'll like where it ends up."

Can you relate?

• Are giving voice to your own stories?   If not, is fear getting in your way? 
• If you can relate to Jenny, I dare ya:  this week, try investing just a small slice of writing energy and time into writing more of what you'd love to work on (regardless of its potential yield or commercial viability).

Introducing "Leggs"

"Leggs" is my husband's and my nickname for the guy who inspired this piece, a cross-dressing cyclist who commutes by bike here in Marin County, California.

"Leggs" has long legs. Lean legs. Very, very tan legs. And Leggs has a preference for wearing blowsy micro-minis that really show off his physique. 

When he cycles by, the guy turns heads.

Last week I drove past Leggs as he pedaled up a huge hill.  He was leaning into the incline, his face animated by a big grin.  He seemed to be genuinely enjoying the tough ascent. (I should tell you that I once cycled up that same huge hill.  The expression on my face was, I'm certain, the purest of agonies.)

Why the heck was Leggs smiling?  Because he's in good shape? Sure.  (And how many times must he have had to summit that hill before it became easy for him?)  More than the good workout, though, I believe Leggs was smiling because he's living his life unabashedly doing his own thing. 

Leggs accepts himself.  He wears what makes him happy.  And he tackles very big hills.

• Are you limiting what you write because you're concerned with how your work will be received? 

• What "big hills" have you been avoiding in your writing?  (In your life?)  Are you ready to push yourself?  Would personalized coaching to help you meet the challenge?

Get to Know "Poor Girl Eats Well"

I recently reconnected with an old friend through Facebook.  Turns out she's Poor Girl Eats Well, and she blogs about "how to eat ridiculously well on a minuscule budget."  (This week I'm going to try her "Easiest Blackberries & Cream Popsicles EVER" recipe with berries from the big blackberry bush on our driveway.  Yum.)

I don't think "Poor Girl," a/k/a Kimberly Morales, set out to be "a food writer," but she's gotten attention from CNN.com and regional papers in Sacramento, and her blog readership is loyal and growing.

In Poor Girl's latest post, Kimberly writes:

"I'd hesitated about posting these [blackberry popsicles] because they just look a little strange.  Then I thought: Darnit, there's just not enough periwinkle or lilac-colored food in this world, and that's just a shame."

Kimberly's on a path to success because she writes what she knows.  And she writes in a way that's all hers: she's authentic. Enthusiastic. 

• Are you in touch with your opinions?  Your quirks?  Your passions?  
  
• Are you fully expressing yourself in your writing?  Your life?

Vonnegut on "Doing Your Thing"

I hope this post has inspired you to do a little more of "your own thing" when you write.  I'll leave you with words on the topic from Kurt Vonnegut, Jr.: 

“Don’t trim your sails to every wind, just go ahead and write and see what happens. Don’t look at the market. Don’t look at the bestseller list to see what’s selling. That wouldn’t help anyway. You have to write what you write, or get out of the business.”   

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Life Coaching Tip for Writers: Do What You Love, "Just Because"

Lately I've witnessed some very talented writers making the same mistake. They get stuck, stale and unmotivated because they begin to refuse to make time for what they really love.

• Freelance writers weigh down their budding essayist with the constant work of reporting article after article.

• Non-fiction writers deny themselves time to connect with their guitar, garden, [other thing they love] until they finally finish their book proposal.

• Novelists force themselves to focus solely on their manuscript, when they'd secretly like to try writing a humor piece.

The coaching solution for this dilemma is simple: stop forcing yourself to "produce."  Take a little time (each day or each week) to let more of what you "really want" into your writing life. 

In coaching we call this mindset shifting from "either/or" to "both/and." You can use this shift any time you notice yourself feeling stuck as a result of your black-or-white thinking.  

Pursue your project diligently and let yourself do something you really enjoy, just for the heck of it.  Work on your novel and write a little humor piece on the side.  Keep reporting and mark out a little time in your freelance schedule to develop projects "just for me."  Write, write, write...and pick up your guitar, walk the dog or go dig in the dirt when you need a break.

It may seem paradoxical, but you can instantly boost your creativity and motivation by simply investing a little time in doing what you enjoy, without pressure and without an expectation that what you produce be "great."

p.s. - Don't expect greatness, but don't rule it out, either.  Once one of my clienst, Dan Schifrin, was so pleased with his on-the-side humor piece that he thought he'd send the essay out.  It wasn't long before his piece appeared in McSweeney's.

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photo credit:  Martin Kingsley

8 Tips to Wake You Up (part 2)

(photo by Mike Baird, Flickr.com)

If you're a writer, it's worth your while to do what you can to "wake up" in your day-to-day life.  

The more alert and present you are in your daily life--commuting to work, hanging out at home, spending time with friends or on your own--the more creative, responsive and awake you'll be at the writing desk.

Today's post continues with more tips to help you experience your daily life in a fresh and wide-awake way.   

 

With Others

5.  Dig deep.

My two-year-old daughter is learning basic conversational skills, and yesterday we practiced basic social dialogue over and over:

"How are you?"

"I'm fine.  How are you?"

"Doin' great!"

It's important to learn how to chat with others, but lively, sincere, thought-provoking conversation takes practice and skill.  Good connection is the kind of social interaction that can really wake us up.

Next time you're with someone you've known awhile, challenge yourself to know them even better.  Ask your companion a question about their past, or spark a debate with them about a controversial current event.  Inquire about their beliefs, or challenge them to define, in their own words, their understanding of the big intangibles such as "love," "justice," "freedom," "success." 

Life's too short to skate on the surface. 

6.  Do something different.

Ever notice that when friends come to visit, your town or region seems suddenly more exciting, more interesting?

It can be easy to get in a social rut.  We may have a standing date ("Fridays at the Mayflower") or a comfortable routine ("meet at the benches and walk around the reservoir twice") we enjoy.

Next time you have a free day, talk your friends or family into pretending you are tourists in your own town.  Grab the free news weeklies and look for a local festival.  Go to a new neighborhood and browse the shops and talk to locals.  I've gotten more tips for great restaurants and off-the-beaten path hiking trails by striking up a conversation with folks riding the same bus or dining at a nearby table.

If this "tourist-for-a-day" idea doesn't work for you, spend a morning getting around town in a new way.  Walk to the store or ride your bikes across town.  Instead of driving, take a bus to the river or park. 

Sharing new experiences together is a great way to wake up our relationships.

On Your Own

7.  Treat yourself.

You can easily wake up your senses with just a little effort and money.  Ideas to get you started: 

• Choose a new recipe from an Asian, Indian or African cookbook and shop at a local market for the ingredients.  Enjoy new scents and tastes right in your own kitchen.
• Go to your local Border's and spend an hour sampling new-to-you music at the listening kiosks.
• Read up on aromatherapy, and choose a new essential oil to add to your bath.
• Visit an out-of-the-way local museum (or just sit near the large-format books at your local library and look at pictures in art, anthropology or science books).

8.  Reflect on what you've already got.

Got an overflowing junk drawer?  A bookcase in need of weeding?

The past few months I've been going through things (slowly, slowly) and simplifying my life.  Living in a small house with a toddler was great incentive to get me started, but weeding, sorting and organizing has become a meditation on abundance ("I have so many useful things in my life"), and the good feelings I've been getting from this practice have motivated me to continue.

Look at your possessions with new eyes.  Are they still useful to you?  If so, are you using them now or would you like to begin doing so soon?  If not, would they be useful to someone else? 

Making intentional and specific decisions about what you want and don't want in your life helps you live more consciously and wide-awake.  And this practice works for people, attitudes, and situations as well as things.

8 Tips to Wake You Up (part 1)

You can energize your writing by brightening up your experience of the everyday.  Here are 4 tips to help you "wake up" in your home and on the road. 

On the Road

1.  Take a different route home.

In grade school I rode my banana seat bike around and around the same block.  To combat my boredom, I'd challenge myself to notice one new thing (a budding flower, a roly-poly bug...you get the picture) each time I made the circuit.

Now that I'm grown up, I breathe new life into my drive home by sometimes deliberately taking back roads or alternate routes home.  (Full disclosure: my toddler's love of shouting "THAT WAY!!" at intersections inspired this new habit.) 

 Can you take a different route home one day this week?  If not, see what new things you can notice as you head home.  Intentionally "seeing" your world helps work out your writerly muscles of observation.

2.  Fully "stop" at stop lights, stop signs or crosswalks.

I learned this tip from my meditation teacher.  When you come to a red light, stop sign, or blinking "stop, pedestrian" sign, use the opportunity to stop both your car (or body if you're walking) and your mind.  Sense your body for a moment.  Feel the tension melt down your body and into the ground.  Relax your shoulders.

If you can't fully stop at every crosswalk or stop sign you encounter (who can?), choose one to fully stop at regularly.  I've chosen the first stop sign I come to after we exit a busy road and head towards home, and now the intersection has become a relaxation cue for my mind and body.  My mind and body often shift at the stop sign, without me thinking consciously about it!

My husband's picked up me doing this exercise and now he often "fully stops" at the same stop sign, too. This shared exercise has become a refreshing (and sometimes annoying, sometimes funny) ritual for us.

At Home

3.  Clean the window glass.

Brighten your view by cleaning the window glass in your home or apartment.  (For city dwellers, consider changing your disguise of a brick wall or other industrial view with new curtains, decorative paper or art.) 

You can use this tip to brighten your inner landscape by polishing the glass with intention.  As you clean, visualize yourself burnishing and polishing your self-confidence and sense of purpose in your writing project.  As you remove dirt or dust, visualize yourself cleaning your mindset of limiting attitudes and habits that block you. (This may sound hokey, I know.  We often learn better when we use our kinesthetic faculties as well as our mental ones, though.  Try this tip with an open mind.) 

4.  Rearrange your furniture.

It's just common sense, isn't it?  Shifting your room's layout can help you experience your environment in an alert, new way. 

You'll have to be mindful to navigate the new arrangement and avoid stubbing your toe on the sofa that didn't-used-to-be-there.  Your repositioned chair can offer you a new perspective -- of the room, the view or even your mindset, if you let it.  Perhaps one of you will share your Feng Shui ideas or resources in the comments section below.    

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If you use my 4 tips to brighten your life on the road and at home, you'll brighten your experience of the everyday.  A more awake "You" off the page often translates into a more innovative and energized "You" as you write.

Give these tips a try and come back later this week for part 2.  Until then, have fun dropping the drab! 

Beating Overwhelm: The Power of "One Good Thing"

A coaching client and I have been reviewing and discussing David Allan's excellent productivity method, Getting Things Done.   If you're not familiar with it, I highly recommend the book.  Allan's system is simple in concept, elegant in execution and...comprehensive.

Ordinarily "comprehensive" is a wonderful quality for a time- and project-management system.  For this particular client (and me, too, come to think of it!) "comprehensive" is just a tad bit overwhelming right now.   What to do?

Try This:

The next time you find yourself attracted to a new system or idea, consider the power of what I call "One Good Thing." 

Ask yourself:

--What single, useful strategy I can take from the system or process? 
--What single shift can I make to free up my thinking or actions?

To take advantage of new ideas without becoming overwhelmed by them, it's important to resist the temptation to think in all-or-nothing terms ("I can either implement this idea fully or put it off for another time"). Instead, review the material you'd like to use and extract a single principle to guide you.  In this way, you can begin.  Today.  

And check back with The Relaxed Writer soon.  In upcoming posts, I'll be sharing with you simple "One Good Things" I've taken from Allan's comprehensive time- and project-management system. 

Blaise Pascal on Clarity, Passion

I couldn't wait to share this quote with you, Relaxed Writers!

Clarity of mind means clarity of passion, too; this is why a great and clear mind loves ardently and sees distinctly what it loves.    -Blaise Pascal

Even though it's 400+ years old, Pascal's quote thrums with vitality to me.  It's difficult to imagine how much mental clarity and concentration it must have taken him to perform his mathematical calculations and scientific investigations...all just a few decades after Gutenberg invented the printing press.  How did he record his ideas as he worked, I wonder?

More to the point of today's post, though:  I'd love to hear how you might paraphrase Pascal's thought for yourself.

My own paraphrase goes something like this: 
We awaken through Love.  

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To sharpen your clarity of mind today, I hope you'll try this:

Notice what animates your curiosity, desire and attention.
Honor it by taking a small step towards infusing your life with what you love.
Repeat.

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Write well, everyone!