The Relaxed Writer

Not Quite Happy? Here's How to LOVE Your Writing Life.

I spent time with a good friend recently--a talented and beautiful woman who's got a whole lot to offer the world. As we caught up over coffee at my favorite local cafe, I watched her dreams light up her eyes as she talked about a new project she'd like to take on.

But just as the light and spark of creative possibility started to settle in, she'd say "Yeah, but..."

And she said no to herself in a hundred different ways.

My friend's circumstances keep nudging her to stand up for her beliefs.  To step towards her dreams.  To say "YES" to the challenge of creating the life she really wants.

How about you?  Are you daring to live a writing life you love?

Whether your writing dream is to make more money freelancing, finish your novel or launch a new creative project (like my client, Michelle Taute, who enlivened her writing life with a new blog and a  challenge to create a new creative piece every day: cootiecatchers...yes, really!) -- there's no time like right NOW to get started.

You don't have to reengineer your life or run away from your job, your kids or your freelancing.  You can start going for your big writing dreams right now, right here in the midst of your ordinary life.  I've designed a brand-new, free teleclass to show you how.

Start saying "YES." 

This coming Tuesday, I'll teach you a simple, 3-step process to help you get started saying YES to your writing goals and dreams: 

"Get More Writing Time -- How to Create the Time and Focus You Need to Write What Matters MOST"

If you'd like practical tips to help you honor your talents, move your writing project forward and start loving your writing life again, you'll love this free, one-hour class.

Empower others while you're at it.

When you show up consistently for your important writing project, you say YES to creating a writing life you love. Best of all, your "say YES to my writing life" actions benefit others, too.  When you pursue your creative goals, you give others permission and courage to do the same.

Let's create a ripple effect and unleash a tide of happy, fulfilled writers into the world.  Just imagine the possibilities we'll create!

Let's get you started.

2 Keys to Freelance Happiness (and a Free Teleclass for Writers)

I'm on a mission to help you become a relaxed, productive and downright *happy* writer!

And in my six years' experience coaching successful freelancers, 
I've learned two important keys to freelance writer happiness:

1. You're pursuing meaningful projects, whether as a bread-and-butter gig or side project;
2. You're using strategic tools and systems to streamline your business, clarify your priorities and get both your paid and your personal writing done.

This Wednesday, I'll be teaching a popular, info-packed teleclass designed to help you create more balance, happiness & success with your freelance writing business.

Will you join me?

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FREE TELECLASS FOR WRITERS -

"5 Steps to Balance, Bliss and a Booming Writing Business"
Wednesday, March 9 at 9am PT / 12 noon ET

Click here to learn more & register:
http://www.coachmarla.com/teleclass.html

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In this free, one-hour teleclass you'll discover:

• how to harness more time, focus and energy for the important "big picture" projects you keep putting off (marketing plan, query writing, book proposal, anyone?)

• three essential business practices to boost your productivity and your bottom line

• how to take control of your business so you can devote more of your time and talents to doing what makes you happiest

I'll share with you simple, easy-to-implement tips you can begin using right away to become a happier, more successful freelancer.  Best of all, I suspect you'll even have a little fun!

If this class sounds like a good fit for you, I look forward to seeing you on Wednesday.

warmly,

Coach Marla

Writing Lessons from Photographers - "Never Shoot a Sunset"

In recent posts I gave you a few tips to help you put your writing in perspective and stay motivated for the long haul. 

In today's post (the third and final of my "Writing Lessons from Photographers" series), I'll show you a fun strategy you can use to improve your writing and editing chops.  Let's play a little game, shall we? 

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"Writing Lessons from Photographers" - Never Shoot a Sunset

  
Take a look at this snapshot from my recent trip to a nearby beach at sunset. 

Grab a pencil.

Now quickly jot down three specific things you notice in the photograph. If you like, write a phrase or two to describe the overall mood or tone the image conveys to you, and I'll do the same.

Let's compare lists, shall we?

I'll go first.

If I'm trying to be objective, I see modest ocean swells, an annoying timestamp I just can't figure out how to get the timestamp off the pics my new little Vivitar handheld camera makes, and--oh yeah, a sunset. 

But here's a smattering of what really comes up for me when I look at this photograph:

• the scent and feel of ocean air, laced with salt and sand,
• the path the pelicans cut as they flew in formation just above the waves, 
• the pleasure I felt as I watched my three-year-old daughter scrunch wet sand between her fingers and toes, crouching on all fours as she pushed her way up a small incline pretending to be a "streetsweeper."  (The fact that she's imposing a mechanical metaphor onto nature--not the other way around--is another subject altogether, isn't it?  Aii.)

When you see this picture, I'll bet you're focussed on sand, light and wave.  You see what's actually there.

When I look at this picture, I'm taken by riptide to a technicolor sea of memory and recollected experience -- stuff that's nowhere to be found in the pixels of this 2-D photograph. I'm so driven by memory it takes deliberate effort for me to see what's actually there.

"Never Shoot a Sunset"

Steve Szabo, my photography professor at the Corcoran, once warned us rather bluntly: "Never shoot a sunset." 

Besides steering us away from visual cliches (and who better to warn than a darkroom full of aspiring fine-art photographers), Szabo's pithy injunction taught us to look hard at the photographs we were making.  He taught us to look at each image we made on its own terms. 

Szabo taught us to ask:

• What overtones, memories or sense experiences are we bringing to our experience of viewing the photograph?
• What aesthetic choices did we make to actualize our message?
• How did we do and what's lacking?

Had I been striving for "art" in the image above, I would've needed to manipulate expsoure, composition, or any of the other expressive tools of photography to evoke the mood I wanted to create. But to do this successfully, I'd have to first figure out what material I was bringing to the work vs. what was actually there.

Learning to See What's Really There

Szabo's advice to photographers is immensely useful for writers.

On a practical level, if you're still getting your writing chops up, you can save yourself time by avoiding the writerly equivalents of "sunsets" -- those cliche topics that threaten to become overly sentimental or melodramatic.

And no matter where you are in your writing journey, you'll improve your craft by consistently practicing seeing what's actually on the page (not what you recall or think or wish or project).  Szabo's advice can  improve every piece of writing you do, not just your essays and anecdotes. You'll become more aware of what you're doing well and you'll quickly learn which literary techniques you need to strengthen and improve to get your message across to the reader.

Personally, I've found this gentle practice of discernment enormously beneficial away from the writing desk, too.  Learning to see what's really there is helping me become more present, awake and mindful throughout my life, whether I'm coaching writers, loving on my little one or learning a new jazz tune. 

Seeing what's there/what's not is a beautiful practice for anyone aspiring to become a truly relaxed writer. 

What Do You Think?  

• What literary "sunsets" will you avoid writing about...for now?
• What specific questions will you begin asking yourself as you review your drafts?
• How will you practice seeing what's truly on the page and what's not?
• Will you try this practice out in your daily life, too?

 

New on Facebook

I just posted a few photos from my Corcoran days for you to check out.  Stop by my Facebook Fan Page to see the new "Writing Lessons from Photographers" photo album.  (Just click the Wall link or press the arrow key to access the "Photos" tab.)  If you'd like to see a few more, let me know!

How to Save a Rotten Writing Day - Pocket Tip for Writers (audio)

I had a rotten writing session the other day.  I won't bore you with the details, but trust me:  the wheels were NOT turning.

After I got home, I decided to hike the hill behind our house.  (The walk is lined with redwoods that look a lot like the ones here in Miguel Vieira's gorgeous photo of redwood trees in Sequoia National Park.)

As I climbed the hill, I started to mull over the day.  Where had things gone wrong?  What did I do to "save" it?

My iTouch was in my pocket and I decided to take a risk and share my gleanings with you in "real time."  Here it is, the latest (and roughest, but hopefully helpful) "Pocket Tip for Writers:  How to Save a Rotten Writing Day."

How to Save a Rotten Writing Day (2:30, MP3)

Click the grey bar above to listen.

Your Turn

Will this strategy help you save your next writing session, too?  What else works for you?

Why You Are Never Not Writing

Writing and "real life" are symbiotic.  Every action in our day-to-day lives--whether directly related to writing or not--has the potential to influence the way we think about and do our creative work. 

Think about this for a moment.  When we're not actually writing,

• what we read, listen to and see...
• where we go...
• who we talk to...
• what we do with our hands, our bodies, our brains...

...all these activities (and more!) have the potential to shape our thought and craft once we settle down to write again.

Your life away from the page matters.  And in a way, we are never not writing.

To write well, be mindful.  And as much as you can, be happy about your life and choices, too.

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Introducing:  3 Writing Lessons from Photographers

(photo credit:  Shermeee - flickr)

Speaking of extra-literary influence, this past weekend I got to thinking about the lessons I've learned while studying other disciplines. And I realized I've learned some really excellent creative lessons from  photography.

Starting next week I'll be sharing three of my favorites with you in a new blog series: "3 Writing Lessons from Photographers."  Stay tuned to learn three simple ways to get out of your own way and write.

On Writing Time and 'Real Life': 4 Steps for Smooth Transitions

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It's audio time!

On Writing Time and 'Real Life'

I just made this 4-minute MP3 recording of me reading this article while my daughter slept peacefully in the next room -- shhhhh. ;)

Look forward to hearing your feedback. If you like the MP3, please share it with your friends! 

* * *

On Writing Time and 'Real Life':  4 Steps for Smooth Transitions
by Marla Beck

Engaging with the World

Yesterday I watched my little daughter harvest a small, blue egg from our neighbor's chicken coop. 

Feeling its just-hatched warmth, she rested the petite marvel in her right hand.  She stood completely still for a moment and lifted her arm carefully, clutching the egg with just the right amount of pressure.  She stared at its watercolor blueness intently, fully engaged with the experience.

Then, a dog came by.

Annabelle stepped purposefully towards the dog's wagging tail. She stooped down to look at a single, brown feather on the ground before announcing her discovery gleefully to the clouds and the sun. 

As we left the neighbor's yard and headed back home, my little one stretched as far as she could to try and reach the gate latch with her left hand -- the one that wasn't still clutching the little blue egg.

Focusing to Write

I don't have to tell you that we writers are curious folk.  Like three-year-olds, we easily engage with the world around us. In our creative work, this ability to get involved with life -- to pursue leads, to ask  questions, to try something new -- is an awesome asset!

But when we're actually writing, this tendency to get involved with our environment isn't always a good thing. Much too often (and often unnoticed by us), our attention spans get yoked by intriguing stimuli from our environment. 

We tend lose our place.  Without awareness, we forget to tend to the creative treasures in our care.

The Wide-Awake Transition:  Four Easy Steps

The secret to balancing "real life" with creative focus is the art making wide-awake transitions between these two ways of being.  Here's how.

Step #1.  Pause

Before you reach for the ringing phone, pursue an intriguing hyperlink, or give in to the temptation to click over to check your Facebook news feed just one more time (we've all been there!), pause for a moment. 

Ask yourself: 

• Am I really ready to put down the blue egg?  
• Or am I willing to persist with my writing for just ten more minutes?

Step #2.  Leave Tracks

If you do choose to stop writing right now, make the decision to do so with awareness.  Pause and leave a few creative tracks for yourself.  (Give yourself the very best chance of returning--productively--to your blue egg!)

Leave tracks for yourself by:

• Sketching out the inklings of the storyline you're working on.
• Making a list of what's left to do to wrap up that article.
• Noting exactly where you'd like to pick up again when you return to your writing desk.

Step #3.  Ground Yourself

If you can, after you leave tracks, sit still for a moment longer.  Notice how you've situated your back, your spine. Sense the feeling of your back against the chair. 

Ground your awareness in the present moment.

Step #4.  Plan Your Future, Enjoy the Present

Most importantly?  Decide exactly when you will return to your blue egg.  Then until you return, enjoy your time away from writing...guilt-free. 

You've put your treasure down gingerly. The blue egg is in good care.

c. 2010 Marla Beck.  photo credit:  WoodleyWonderWorks (Flickr)

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Want to use this article in your own blog or newsletter? 

Go for it -- as long as you include the article and following blurb in their entirety (with proper credit and all links intact):

Need more time to write? Sign up for my free e-course, "5 Keys to Making Time to Write," at http://www.CoachMarla.com/ecourse-mtw.html. For more great ideas for writers, visit my blog at http://www.TheRelaxedWriter.com.

Case Study: How to Get Lucky with Your Writing Goals

 

It happened twice in the same week.

After several weeks of coaching, two of my clients hammered out specific, clear, right-on-target short-term goals for their writing.

• "I'll finish and submit a personal essay in the next six weeks," Jeff declared.
• "I'll get out of the house and write my queries in a cafe this week," said Sharon.

Intentions clear, Jeff and Sharon set out to work on their projects.  While their goals were different, each achieved excellent results in similar ways.  They each got lucky, too!

Jeff worked diligently on the essay but along the way, something else emerged.  A clear angle for the book he'd been dreaming of.  Heck, not just a clear angle, but an entire structure for the manuscript.

"I'm being pulled to work on this book now," he reported in our next call.  "But if I choose to follow this new direction, am I abandoning my initial goal to publish the essay?" 

Together we found a way for Jeff to embrace this new development and pursue both projects.

Sharon's case was a bit different. 

This home-based freelancer intended to get out of the house to invigorate her motivation, get fresh ideas and generally feel a bit more connected to the world beyond her computer screen.

Instead, Sharon reported that after a good cafe work session, she took a break and went outside to sit on a bench in the town square.  As she sat, who should appear but a former colleague, someone who'd recently become an editor at one of the regional pubs she's been eyeing. 

After catching up, Sharon pitched a story idea on-the-spot.  The editor was receptive.  In fact, he liked it enough to arrange a follow-up call with her later in the week.

Jeff didn't set out to "discover his book." It just happened. 

Sharon set out to "get assignments," it's true, but she didn't expect to have a conversation with an assigning editor when she left her house for a query-writing session at the local cafe.

In their own ways, Jeff and Sharon each experienced the power of synchronicity: that happy, fruitful and unexpected "match" between intention and outcome.  They each "got lucky."   You can, too. 

Ready to get lucky with your writing goals?  Just follow these three, simple steps.

1. First, Jeff and Sharon set specific, manageable, meaningful goals.  They sat down to write with a crystal-clear understanding of what they wanted to do and why. 
2. Next, Jeff and Sharon showed up for their work focused and relaxed.  (This is key.)  They didn't waste energy on self-doubt.  They didn't get caught up in perfectionism, procrastination or any of the other myriad ways we writers tangle ourselves up before we even begin.  Using tools they learned from our coaching partnership, each "stayed out of their own way" as they worked.
3. Finally, when something a bit different from what they'd expected showed up (a book! an editor!), they were attuned enough to notice and respond to their good fortune--not turning opportunity down because it wasn't what they were expecting. 

image credit:  Caitlinator (Flickr)

What writing project would you like to "get lucky" with this month, and what are your plans to get you there?

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Five Keys to Making More Time to Write | Part 2

Imagine for a moment that you're an archer in a once-in-a-lifetime competition.  You're going to be very, very rich if you manage to hit the bull's-eye on your next attempt.

photo credit:  Nchoz (flickr)

Take a deep breath. 

Now watch yourself heave the bow into position. Draw your arm back, release the bow and shoot the arrow. 

Now walk up to the target. Did you hit a bull's-eye?    [Continued...]

Sign up now to receive the entire "Making More Time to Write" e-course, a five-lesson series:

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Calibrate Your Writing Life

Vision without action is a daydream. Action without vision is a nightmare.

-Japanese Proverb

Between "daydream" and "nightmare" dwells the lucid hour:  that state of rightness, receptivity and effortless right action otherwise known as the Flow State.

These late December days provide the perfect opportunity to discover how to best calibrate your writing life in the new year. 

How will you achieve that delicate balance between vision and action? 

Will you:

• Explore, deepen or work on truly owning your visions for your life and writing? 
• Move out of the "perhaps-I'll-do-it-someday" state into concrete habits to support your vision?
• Create a sustainable, effective plan to help you take consistent, smart actions each day?

As a Life Coach for Writers, I'm here to help you create the writing life you're dreaming of.  Tell us what you're working on, and please let me know how I can help you make 2010 your best year yet.

image credit (RickMcCharles-Flickr)

 

 

Laser Coaching for Writers: 60-Minute Strategy Sessions

Many of you asked me for an affordable, powerful (and fun) way to coach with me this past year. 

Today I'm pleased to introduce you to the 60-Minute Strategy Session, a laser coaching session designed to get you on-target, unstuck and well-resourced for 2010.

You can learn more about 60-Minute Strategy Sessions here.

I've set things up so you can enjoy a fantastic rate if you book your session (for December, January or anytime) before Thursday, December 31, 2009.  

Please feel free to email or call me if I can answer any questions, ok?

Ezine Preview (June09): "5 Secrets to Bouncing Back from Setbacks"

If you've been away from your writing project or too pooped to write well this month, I have a confession to make:  I've been right there with you.

We all experience creative setbacks and life-balance detours.  But how quickly do you regain your energy and focus when you've been off-track?

I'll be mailing out this month's issue of The Relaxed Writer ezine on Thursday, featuring a brand-new article, "5 Secrets to Bouncing Back from Setbacks."  Don't miss it!  If you haven't already, join my newsletter mailing list today.

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8 Tips to Wake You Up (part 1)

You can energize your writing by brightening up your experience of the everyday.  Here are 4 tips to help you "wake up" in your home and on the road. 

On the Road

1.  Take a different route home.

In grade school I rode my banana seat bike around and around the same block.  To combat my boredom, I'd challenge myself to notice one new thing (a budding flower, a roly-poly bug...you get the picture) each time I made the circuit.

Now that I'm grown up, I breathe new life into my drive home by sometimes deliberately taking back roads or alternate routes home.  (Full disclosure: my toddler's love of shouting "THAT WAY!!" at intersections inspired this new habit.) 

 Can you take a different route home one day this week?  If not, see what new things you can notice as you head home.  Intentionally "seeing" your world helps work out your writerly muscles of observation.

2.  Fully "stop" at stop lights, stop signs or crosswalks.

I learned this tip from my meditation teacher.  When you come to a red light, stop sign, or blinking "stop, pedestrian" sign, use the opportunity to stop both your car (or body if you're walking) and your mind.  Sense your body for a moment.  Feel the tension melt down your body and into the ground.  Relax your shoulders.

If you can't fully stop at every crosswalk or stop sign you encounter (who can?), choose one to fully stop at regularly.  I've chosen the first stop sign I come to after we exit a busy road and head towards home, and now the intersection has become a relaxation cue for my mind and body.  My mind and body often shift at the stop sign, without me thinking consciously about it!

My husband's picked up me doing this exercise and now he often "fully stops" at the same stop sign, too. This shared exercise has become a refreshing (and sometimes annoying, sometimes funny) ritual for us.

At Home

3.  Clean the window glass.

Brighten your view by cleaning the window glass in your home or apartment.  (For city dwellers, consider changing your disguise of a brick wall or other industrial view with new curtains, decorative paper or art.) 

You can use this tip to brighten your inner landscape by polishing the glass with intention.  As you clean, visualize yourself burnishing and polishing your self-confidence and sense of purpose in your writing project.  As you remove dirt or dust, visualize yourself cleaning your mindset of limiting attitudes and habits that block you. (This may sound hokey, I know.  We often learn better when we use our kinesthetic faculties as well as our mental ones, though.  Try this tip with an open mind.) 

4.  Rearrange your furniture.

It's just common sense, isn't it?  Shifting your room's layout can help you experience your environment in an alert, new way. 

You'll have to be mindful to navigate the new arrangement and avoid stubbing your toe on the sofa that didn't-used-to-be-there.  Your repositioned chair can offer you a new perspective -- of the room, the view or even your mindset, if you let it.  Perhaps one of you will share your Feng Shui ideas or resources in the comments section below.    

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If you use my 4 tips to brighten your life on the road and at home, you'll brighten your experience of the everyday.  A more awake "You" off the page often translates into a more innovative and energized "You" as you write.

Give these tips a try and come back later this week for part 2.  Until then, have fun dropping the drab! 

Writing without Distraction: "Freedom" for Mac

Dear Reader,

Lately I seem to be sharing new software finds with you.  Before I introduce you to my newest discovery though, a quick disclaimer:

Software programs can be quite helpful if you're a distraction-prone writer (and c'mon...who isn't at one time or another?), but as a productivity and life balance coach for writers, I don't believe you actually need anything special to help you focus. 

Tools and apps can definitely help boost your productivity.  Cultivate a relaxed-writer's mindset though, and you'll cut through distractions and write "in-the-flow" all on your own.

* * *

If you've ever used Julia Cameron's book, "The Artist's Way," you may remember doing a brief "media fast?"  To give your creative voice more space roam, you voluntarily refrained from watching television or reading newspapers or magazines for a week.  The result for most of us was that we emerged from the fast less reactive to external events;  more connected to our own thoughts, plot ideas and creative insights.

"Freedom" for Mac helps you to create an "internet fast" of your own.  By activating the software's timer (which you can set for up to eight hours), you block yourself from accessing the internet. You can override the setting by rebooting your system, but for most, this annoyance is enough of a deterrent to keep you on task.

 

Next time you sit down to write, consider creating your own "internet fast."

If you're a Mac user, download and experiment with "Freedom" (it's a free app, by the way), and stop back and let us know what you think.

(Thanks to Paul Zakrzewski and LiveWires for the inspiration for this post.)

Lance Armstrong on Rejection

"A boo is a lot louder than a cheer. If you have 10 people cheering and one person booing, all you hear is the booing."  - Lance Armstrong

Like cyclists, writers log long, solitary hours practicing and improving their craft.  When we do connect with the outside world--be it through editors we query, publications we submit to, or readers we choose to share our work with--we open ourselves up to the possibility of rejection.

Here's how to protect your belief in yourself and your writing when you encounter criticism:

1.  Put it into context.  Remember Armstrong's insight:  a boo stands out, especially when you're feeling twinges of self-doubt. 

2.  Build a belief file.   It's important to record your wins.  If you aren't doing so already, create a "Belief Binder." Include items that reinforce your belief in yourself and your work, such as:

• a list of career milestones (awards, publications, reviews)
  
• a record of your writing income
• copies of acceptance letters
  
• copies of clips
• positive comments from reviewers, readers, editors and any others who value your writing 
  

I also recommend that you sit down and write yourself a list of "25 Reasons I Believe In What I Do," and include it in your binder.  Have fun with your list, and add to it and review it often--especially when you find yourself beginning to believe in that single, shrill "boo" in the crowd.

3.  Join a coaching group for writers.  Accelerate your recovery when rejection hits by discussing your experiences in a life-coach-facilitated coaching group.  Besides helping you recover faster, a coaching group for writers also helps you to:

• create deadlines for yourself
• learn tools and strategies to deal with obstacles and setbacks
  
• network with writers across the country
• support your peers' wins and progress
  
• access the collective wisdom and experience of the group
  

4.  Remember that setbacks happen.  Lance Armstrong came in 12th in the 1996 Olympic Games.  President Obama lost his 2000 bid for a seat in the U.S. House of Representatives.  Jack Kerouac, Sylvia Plath and George Orwell each wrote books that were subsequently rejected by Knopf.

You didn't experience rejection because you "failed."  You experienced rejection because you tried, and isn't trying itself a kind of "win"?  Think of the many, many people out there who don't take chances, and who never open themselves up to criticism or (gasp!) outright failure.

If you follow the steps I've outlined above, you can minimize the impact of criticism or rejection when it comes.  Don't forget to draw on your support network.  And whatever you do, don't stop writing.