The Relaxed Writer

Write During the Holidays - Tip #1: Gift Yourself

No doubt you've noticed that there's a lot competing for your attention this time of year.

Sparkly window displays.  Expectations. Scores of red and green discount coupons.

Amidst the hustle and fun, how do you stay on track with your writing projects? 

Join me for "Write During the Holidays" - a 3-part series designed to help you stay on track with your writing (even if you're busy shopping for sweaters). 

Read on for Tip #1:  Gift Yourself.

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Get Your Writing Done During the Holidays Tip #1:  Gift Yourself

The holidays are a natural time to focus on others.  But what about you?  Specifically....what about your own writing dreams and career plans?

You serve others better when you're actively honing our talents and working at your craft. 

Get used to the idea that it's okay to devote time to your writing.  Not only "okay," but beneficial to everyone in your life.

An way to get to the writing desk more easily is to do the work you love and reinforce the benefits you experience whenever you invest your time into writing.

Try this simple exercise.  Before, during and after your writing sessions, remind yourself:

• "A fulfilled writer is a better parent."

• "A fulfilled writer is a better friend /significant other."

• "A fulfilled writer is a better boss/employee/freelance business owner."

• "A fulfilled and writer is a happier person."

A happier you is the ultimate holiday gift, wouldn't you say?

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What do you think?  Leave your comments below. And please stay tuned later this week more holiday tips for writers. 

In the meantime, consider joining me and a group of excited, hopeful and ready-to-work writers for four days of training calls & two days of private and group coaching in December.

Join "Two Days to Write" and you can pick up some seriously useful writing, productivity and mindset strategies to use long after your two-day intensive is over.  You can learn more and register here:  http://www.twodaystowrite.com.

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

Ask the Life Coach: Why all the monkeys, and how to get 'em off my back?

Ann writes, "I've been so happy since we clarified my book project.  It feels great to have clear parameters--now I know what to focus on each day.

"Thing is, last week I heard back from the writer/presenter I met at the conference and today I received the package she mailed me. The articles and resources all seem to substantiate my idea and approach.  I think this thing's truly marketable! 

"But then it hit me.  If I'm thinking along these lines, surely others are too.  And with this topic getting so much publicity...will there be room for my project when I get my proposal together?

"I've cleared time to do next week's research trip, but now I'm not so sure that now's the time.  Is my topic really good enough?  Am I?

"Help, please.  Why all these monkeys, and how do I get them off my back?!"

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Hello monkeys...you're right on time!

Ann, the way I see it is this:  you've done the work to tease out your project.  You've claimed a specific goal and now you're showing up for yourself more decisively.  To your amazement, you're even getting feedback that your ideas are right on track. 

Who wouldn't be startled by all that goodness?

Here's where REAL relaxed writing begins.

It's time to feel your fears, then research. Feel your fears, then write.

Trust that for now there's value to flushing out this project exactly as you'd planned it:  stay with your topic until you encounter a series of much more definitive facts to sway you.  (Monkeys like nothing more than to numb you with dead-end doubts and enticing side roads.)

The trick is to research, write and persist...for now.

And please don't question for one moment the fact that you're feeling as crazy as you are.  Nobody said dancing with monkeys was easy, but we all do it.  Especially when we're right on track.

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Got questions?  Email your writing productivity, motivation or time management questions to me at advice_at_coachmarla.com and I may feature your question here on the blog. 

 

3 Ways to Recharge Your Writing Dream

[If you're looking for "Never Shoot a Sunset," the third and final post in my Writing Lessons from Photographers series, you'll find it here early next week.  In the meantime, stick around and meet Annabelle - oh, and let me share with you some awesome ways to recharge your writing dream.]

In the past few months it seems I've become a personal lullaby jukebox.

Before snuggling down to sleep, my three-year-old daughter, Annabelle, asks me to sing two, three or five of her favorite songs, often specifying song order and volume.

Lately Annabelle has been keeping things simpler though. Her only request has been that I sing "Over the Rainbow" - again and again and again. She often murmurs lovely questions as she listens.

"Mommy?  Why can't I fly over the rainbow?"

"'What's 'whyohwhyohwhy'?"

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Yeah, I know. Rainbows.  Lullabies.  I realize I'm at risk of being schmaltzy here. 

But I do have a point, writers, and I think it's one worth making in all of the colors, as big as the sky.  

Who says you can't still go for a really big dream?  Figuratively speaking, why can't you fly over rainbows?

Because at some point in your writing life, you knew exactly what you wanted. 

• You got up early to write every day.
• You drafted your first chapters with optimism, hope and energy.
• You launched your freelance business intending to make damn good money, thank you very much. 

Now is the perfect time to discover if your writing dream is still colorful and vibrant or perhaps a bit faded at the edges. Read on for three ways to recharge your writing dream.

#1.  Step Back. 

The only way to see your dream all at once is to step back (waaaay back) from your daily work and writing.  To recapture the vividness and color of your writing vision, get out of your daily routine and take time to look at the bigger picture.  What does your writing goal really look like?

Clarifying your goals offers you two shifts in perspective.

• First you're able to make out the overall shape and contours of your dream.
• Then you're able to add color, texture and details.

If you have a chance,take an hour this weekend and freewrite at a local library or cafe.  Enjoy your mini-escape and do some daydreaming.  Then define your dream as vividly as you can: 

• what you want to achieve,
• why it matters to you, and
• what your writing life looks like on a daily basis.

#2.  Build Up Your Belief.

Do you believe it's really possible to write what matters most? 

To work productively and passionately, you've got to spark and nurture belief in your project.  Create time each day to build your belief that you really can do it. Read inspirational books, blogs and interviews.  But don't forget that the most inspiring, belief-building thing you can do is to sit down and actually get to work on your project.  Write.

#3.  Choose Your Best Supports.

Recharge your writing dream by seeking out people who actively value and support your ambitions. Proactively decide who will be the best supports for you.

• Will you hire a coach to keep you accountable, help you gain momentum and teach you to manage your work habits, projects or attitudes more efficiently?  (Clients who hire me often see major transformations in these areas in as little as two months). 
• Will you lock a trusted friend into bi-weekly writing dates (live or virtual), accountability check-ins or cheering sessions? 
• Will you push yourself to meet a writing contest deadline, no matter what?

The writing life can be solitary, but it need not be lonely.  Trust yourself to create the best community you can to support your work. 

And get busy recharging your precious writing dream!

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FREE Teleclass!

Overwhelmed freelancer?   If so, I've designed a free, one-hour teleclass just for you! 

Learn more and register the class here:  http://www.CoachMarla.com/teleclass.html

A Kid and A Balloon: On Passion, Tenacity and Focus

They say you can learn a lot from a kid.  I recently learned a lesson about passion (and tenacity, and focus) from my toddler, Annabelle.

The other day my husband and Annabelle knocked on a friend's door.  When our friend answered, my nearly-two-year-old pushed past our friend and headed straight for an 18"-square Mylar balloon floating in the corner.  She gripped the purple and pink curling ribbons in her small hand and proudly took her new Happy Birthday "'boon!" home with her.

Annabelle clutched the ribbons in her tiny hand all day.  She held it as we rocked and cuddled to sleep.  The plastic weight (a pink plastic star) dragged behind her  as she moved busily from room to room to room.  The square balloon floated above her body as she napped--ribbons in one hand while she slept on her belly--on the living-room couch.  Late in the day, as we drove to the store, she held the balloon so it blocked my view of her face completely.

 "Annabelle?" I asked, turning my head around to check on her because she'd been so silent in her car seat.  She peeked her head around the side of the balloon--eyes sparkling--and then quickly went back to hiding.

 

It was only in the evening, well beyond her usual bedtime, that I was able to gently pry the balloon from Annabelle's pudgy little grip.  She wailed.

"Don't worry.  Your balloon...it's right here," I whispered.  

The little soul woke herself up ("Mama?  'Boon?") off and on throughout the next hour, sitting up sleepily to make sure she could still see the balloon's square outline as it danced in the dark, dark room.

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On Passion

Like ourselves when we were small, Annabelle's senses guide her to what she loves.  Shiny?  Square?  Floaty?  She kindled passion for the balloon the very moment she saw it.

Want to rekindle passion for your writing?  Get started by answering these questions:

• What kinds of input do my senses most respond to?   Music?  Scent? Touch?

• What genres do I most love to read?  Love to create?

• Am I pursuing my project passionately right now?  What shifts do I need to make?  

Spend some time reflecting on an idea, object or literary form that you absolutely love, love, love.  Doing so "fills the well" (Julia Cameron's term) and feeds your creativity and passion.   

On Tenacity

Despite the considerable problem-solving required by Annabelle's new passion (how to get a spoon to her mouth, how to fill up her purse, how to get a shirt changed while holding a balloon?), she persisted.

To find time and creative space to develop our book proposals, novels or other "after-hours" projects, we need to cultivate:

• fervent desire
• strong belief that we can succeed
• imaginative problem-solving, and
• the ability and willingness to persist: to try for our goals again and again and again and again.

Consider these questions:

• How can I be more proactive in creating time to write?
  
• When challenged by self-doubt or circumstance, do I persist?
• What can I do to meet obstacles with more flexibility?

On Focus

Like Annabelle straining to see her balloon's outline in the dark, life can seem so busy that our view of what we want is obscured. It sometimes takes great effort and intention to truly "see" our passions.

Successful athletes use their minds to cultivate and visualize their goals.  This technique works for writers, too.

Try this simple exercise.

Write down 2-3 goals on a 3x5 index card.  Phrase them as if each goal is completed.  For example:

• "My manuscript is well-realized and finished."
• "My agent is shopping my proposal."
• "I've written an emotionally resonant, supremely crafted short-story."

As life presents you with a few spare moments (waiting for an appointment, before you go to bed), review your goals.  Take a few moments to clearly visualize yourself working at and achieving each one.

If you review your goals daily, you'll begin to build belief in your work and become aware of opportunities you'd never noticed before.  You'll also begin building a new mental muscle:  the one that helps you to continually "see" your goals, even in the dark.